Pop culture isn't always kind to librarians. So, in honor of National Library Week, Gwen Glazer (Readers Services) and Nick Parker (Communications) picked half a dozen of our favorite library workers—good and evil and in between—and gave them some fictional performance evaluations, complete with numerical rankings.

Did we miss your favorite? Think we're totally off-base and Madam Pince is actually awesome? Let us know in the comments.

Tammy, Parks and Recreation

Nick: The librarians of Pawnee, Indiana get a seriously bad rap around town, and since Leslie Knope avoids her local branch at all costs, we don’t get to see a lot of Tammy in action. Her cruel mind games with ex-husband Ron don’t speak well for her helpfulness, but based on her manipulative streak and her wicked attitude, I can definitely see her recommending a good thriller or romance novel. Plus, I’m just a big Tammy fan.

Gwen: Tammy reminds me of one of those dogs that’s so ugly, it’s cute. She’s such a terrible librarian, she’s great! But she is indeed terrible. We don’t get to see too much of her actually doing with her job, but she also… doesn’t seem to do it much. Or at all. And Leslie hates her -- and all librarians -- so deeply and intensely that you have to give Tammy credit for inspiring that kind of loathing.

Nick’s rankings:

• Knowledge: She certainly knows a lot about Ron Swanson’s inner life, and that’s not something most researchers can say. 4/5.

• Helpfulness: She gets extra points because Leslie does things like this and I feel bad. 3/5.

• Enforcement of library policies: With all the time she spends tormenting people, does she even have the time? 2/5.

• Overall: 3/5.

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: Good point, Nick. 4/5.

• Helpfulness: Remember that time Ron ran screaming from the library with a thumbtack stuck in his head? Does she treat her other patrons better? 0/5.

• Enforcement of library policies: She does cook up that scheme for the library to take over the lot that used to be The Pit, even if it’s not for the right reasons! I think an expansionist agenda counts as a policy. 3/5.

• Overall: 3/5.

Links

Parks and Rec on DVD

Our favorite Leslie Knope library gif

Mary (Parker Posey), Party Girl

Nick: Parker Posey’s character in Party Girl isn’t *technically* a librarian, but she comes damn close! Her journey from irresponsible club kid to the  branch’s fastest shelver is downright inspiring. She even does a good job enforcing library policies – except the one about, um, “doing research” with her boyfriend in the stacks after hours.

Gwen: That first shelving montage is enough to any library worker swoon, and we’ve all experienced Mary’s reaction to the sometimes-Sisyphean tasks related to library materials. And who hasn’t wanted to ride a book cart down an empty hallway? Mary is all of us!

Nick’s rankings:

• Knowledge: By the end of the movie, 5/5.

• Helpfulness: 4/5.

• Enforcement of library policies: 4/5. That famous tirade goes a *bit* overboard, but it's all for the right reasons!

• Overall: 4.5/5. 

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 5/5. Great at Dewey, shelving, research, and much much more.

• Helpfulness: 4/5.

• Enforcement of library policies: 5/5, all for her takedown of a hapless guy who mis-shelves a book. “You’ve just given us a great idea. Why are we wasting our time with the Dewey Decimal system when your system is so much easier? “We’ll just put the books anywhere! Hear that, everybody?” Yessssss.

• Overall: 5/5. I’m rounding up for Judy, who is also (sometimes) awesome in her own right.

Madam Pince, Harry Potter

Gwen: This one has always pained me deeply. Madam Pince is the embodiment of every bad librarian stereotype… she’s a total control freak, she values her books over her patrons, she looks intimidating and mean, she loses it when she finds food in the library. And she shushes! We’re SO not into shushing anymore.

Nick: Agreed. Perfect example: when Harry was trying to figure out how to breathe underwater for the Triwizard Tournament, he would have had a way easier time discovering Gillyweed if he’d had a helpful librarian to point him in the right direction. But instead, he had Madam Pince. Gwen, why do you think she had to be so strict?

Gwen: Aha! Jo Rowling said that Pince “sprang directly from [her] childhood fear of scary librarians. The kind who hate kids.” Well, that explains it.

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: She’s scary, but she knows her stuff. 4/5.

• Helpfulness: Madam Pince, you give us a bad name. 0/5.

• Enforcement of library policies: She was a stickler for the rules. She hexes library books to protect them, and she loses her mind when she thinks students have defaced them. 4/5.

• Overall: 1/5 -- and the 1 is only because we’re jealous of her super-cool collections.

Nick’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 3/5 -- if she is indeed an expert, it's something we rarely get to see in the series.

• Helpfulness: 0/5. I'm sorry, but it's just true.

• Enforcement of policies: 5/5 – probably the reason she got into the job.

• Overall: Not a good look for librarianship, Irma. 1/5.

Links:

The 700+ Potter-related items in our library collections

Marian the Librarian, The Music Man

Gwen: Buttoned up, literally and figuratively, Marian Paroo is the quintessential prim, proper, small-town librarian in the hit musical from the 1950s and ‘60s. She embodied her role as the keeper of her small town’s knowledge, and at first, she aggressively shunned the con-man who tried to woo her at her workplace (not cool) by appealing to her identity as a librarian:

… when I try in here to tell you, dear
I love you madly, madly, Madam Librarian… Marian!
It's a long lost cause I can never win
For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin
Any talking out loud with any librarian
Such as Marian...

Nick: I’m sorry, but I have to say that I’m just not a fan. I just don’t think Marian’s librarianship is enough a part of her character – I mean, sure, she reads classic books, but most of her songs are just about falling in love… Not all librarians are lonely! Plus, her attitude about literature is a little elitist, no?

Gwen: Okay, sure, she’s too focused on the classics, but at least she’s consistent with her embrace of everything old-school librarian. Look at her aesthetic… the buns, the high-collared blouses, the frothy skirts, the tiny rimless glasses. In the original 1962 film, her library is beautiful and ridiculously impractical, with circular staircases and narrow balconies and rolling ladders and book elevators (!!).

Nick: I guess I can get down with her fashion sense, but that library definitely needs a redesign.

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: Seriously dedicated. 5/5.

• Helpfulness: Another overenthusiastic shusher, but Harold Hill and his cronies deserve it. And she’s also really kind to kids and other patrons, and she shelves and stamps enthusiastically. 3/5.

• Enforcement of library policies: She’s very upset about the misuse of library resources… although she does dance with the circ desk. 3/5.

• Overall: 4/5. She’s a classic.

Nick’s rankings:

• Knowledge: Very well educated in classics, but… not much else? 3/5.

• Helpfulness: 3/5.

• Enforcement of library policies: Dancing is SO not allowed in the library! 2/5.

• Overall: Overrated. 2.5/5.

Links:

The original film and Broadway cast recording

Music Man photos in NYPL’s Digital Collections

Rabid Librarians, Welcome to Night Vale

Gwen: Members of the library staff in Night Vale—the fictional town of the funny, satirical podcast and book franchise—are like no other. Unmatched in sheer violence, these librarians once made all the doors and windows disappear from Night Vale’s library building to demonstrate their extreme commitment to library services. Especially notable is their dedication to the summer reading program, which all librarians know takes a truly special kind of effort. They’ll stop at nothing to make sure every citizen is reading. Literally nothing, including death of themselves and others.

Nick: You may not agree with their bloodlust, but those librarians get results! Their commitment to spreading literacy around the town of Night Vale, especially in the face of opposition from the sheriff’s secret police, is impressive. That’s what librarianship is all about.

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: Citizens of Night Vale have to hide in a book-proof bunker to escape the expertise of these librarians. 5/5.

• Helpfulness: Oh, they’re helpful, all right. 5/5 for sheer persistence.

• Enforcement of library policies: Is forced imprisonment considered a policy? 5/5.

• Overall: 5/5. Too risky to give them anything lower.

Nick’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 5/5.

• Helpfulness: 4/5 – a really helpful librarian develops repeat readers, which you can’t do if your summer reading participants lead a rebellion to overthrow you and escape the program.

• Enforcement of library policies: Can we give 6 out of 5?

• Overall: So hardworking, but not my favorites. 4/5. *Scurries into book-proof bunker, locking door behind him*

Links

The Summer Reading episode, No. 28

Welcome to Night Vale: A Novel by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor (plus the audiobook -- the best way to listen)

Welcome to Night Vale episodes, volume 1 and volume 2, by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor

Rupert Giles, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Gwen: Nick and I aren’t Buffy people (I know, I’m sorry) and we originally weren’t going to include Giles on this list, but our colleagues freaked out, so we had to add him.

Nick: I’ll try to do him justice – give me some background, Gwen!

Gwen: So Giles was a librarian at Buffy’s high school, and he served as her mentor and protector. His library sounds awesome; his collection “seems to focus more on ancient demonology and weaponry than it does high school texts” so he gets major points for supporting the particular needs and interests of his patrons.

Nick: Also, as Buffy’s Watcher and frequent helper in her quest to defeat evil, he has a much closer relationship with his patrons than most other librarians on this list. That shows he really cares about fostering a local community of researchers/demon-slayers.

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: Buffy called him “a textbook with arms" in the very first episode! 5/5.

• Helpfulness: Points deducted for doing all that demon-related research himself instead of facilitating his students’ skills. Not helpful in the long run. 2/5.

• Enforcement of library policies: The library gets completely destroyed on more than one occasion. But then again, patron safety comes first! 4/5.

• Overall: 4/5.

Nick’s rankings:

• Knowledge: When it comes to the occult, you have to know your stuff. 5/5.

• Helpfulness: He literally puts his own life in danger to stand up for his patrons! That’s gotta be a 5/5.

• Enforcement of library policies: The library gets destroyed?! No! Come on, Gwen! Also, according to my research, it sits over a Hellmouth – now that’s just irresponsible. 1/5.

• Overall: 3.5/5

Links

So much Buffy stuff in NYPL’s catalog, including the original DVDs, scripts, and graphic novels.

International Librarians Network on Rupert Giles

The actor who played Giles on “Buffy as a Feminist Parable”

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Staff picks are chosen by NYPL staff members and are not intended to be comprehensive lists. We'd love to hear your ideas too, so leave a comment and tell us what you’d recommend. And check out our Staff Picks browse tool for more recommendations!