Written in collaboration with children's librarian Jay Garfinkel, Hamilton Fish Park Library.

“We die. That may be the meaning of life. But we do language. That may be the measure of our lives.” — Toni Morrison, Nobel Prize Lecture, December 7, 1993

Everyone experiences, or will experience, death and loss at some point. Coping with loss has been exceptionally difficult for many people throughout the world this past year due to the devastating, deadly COVID-19 pandemic that has upended the normal ways we would grieve for loved ones, hold funerals and memorial services, and even the ways we interact with one another as we stay physically and socially distant.

One way we can still safely find comfort and assistance in handling the pain and loss of losing a loved one is through books and stories. We created this list of novels and nonfiction books (mostly in English with two Spanish titles) and support resources to help middle grade students, teenagers and adults during the bereavement and grieving process. We hope these titles can provide some consolation, solace and support to those in mourning.

Middle Grades 

Fiction

Clayton Byrd Goes Underground by Rita Williams-Garcia

Clayton feels most alive when he’s with his grandfather, Cool Papa Byrd, and the band of Bluesmen—he can’t wait to join them, just as soon as he has a blues song of his own. But then the unthinkable happens. Cool Papa Byrd dies, and Clayton’s mother forbids Clayton from playing the blues. And Clayton knows that’s no way to live.

Armed with his grandfather’s brown porkpie hat and his harmonica, he runs away from home in search of the Bluesmen, hoping he can join them on the road. But on the journey that takes him through the New York City subways and to Washington Square Park, Clayton learns some things that surprise him.

 

The Collected Works of Gretchen Oyster by Cary Fagan

Hartley Staples, near-graduate of middle school, is grappling with the fact that his older brother has run away from home, when he finds a handmade postcard that fascinates him. And soon he spots another. Despite his losing interest in pretty much everything since Jackson ran away, Hartley finds himself searching for cards in his small town at every opportunity, ignoring other responsibilities, namely choosing a topic for his final project. Who is G.O. and why are they scattering cards about the town?

 

 

The Line Tender by Kate Allen

Wherever the sharks led, Lucy Everhart’s marine-biologist mother was sure to follow. In fact, she was on a boat far off the coast of Massachusetts, preparing to swim with a Great White, when she died suddenly. Lucy was eight. Since then Lucy and her father have done OK—thanks in large part to her best friend, Fred, and a few close friends and neighbors. But June of her twelfth summer brings more than the end of school and a heat wave to sleepy Rockport. On one steamy day, the tide brings a Great White—and then another tragedy, cutting short a friendship everyone insists was “meaningful” but no one can tell Lucy what it all meant. To survive the fresh wave of grief, Lucy must grab the line that connects her depressed father, a stubborn fisherman, and a curious old widower to her mother’s unfinished research. If Lucy can find a way to help this unlikely quartet follow the sharks her mother loved, she’ll finally be able to look beyond what she’s lost and toward what’s left to be discovered.

Ms. Bixby’s Last Day by John David Anderson

Topher, Brand, and Steve know this better than anyone. And so when Ms. Bixby unexpectedly announces that she is very sick and won’t be able to finish the school year, they come up with a plan. Through the three very different stories they tell, we begin to understand just what Ms. Bixby means to Topher, Brand, and Steve—and what they are willing to go to such great lengths to tell her.

 

 

 

Pie in the Sky by Remy Lai

When Jingwen, 11, moves to a new country, he feels like he's landed on Mars. School is torture, making friends is impossible since he doesn’t speak English, and he's often stuck looking after his (extremely irritating) little brother, Yanghao.

To distract himself from the loneliness, Jingwen daydreams about making all the cakes on the menu of Pie in the Sky, the bakery his father had planned to open before he unexpectedly passed away. The only problem is his mother has laid down one major rule: the brothers are not to use the oven while she's at work. As Jingwen and Yanghao bake elaborate cakes, they'll have to cook up elaborate excuses to keep the cake-making a secret from Mama.

 

The Remarkable Journey of Coyote Sunrise by Dan Gemeinhart

Five years. That's how long Coyote and her dad, Rodeo, have lived on the road in an old school bus, crisscrossing the nation. It's also how long ago Coyote lost her mom and two sisters in a car crash.

Coyote hasn’t been home in all that time, but when she learns the park in her old neighborhood is being demolished - the very same park where she, her mom, and her sisters buried a treasured memory box - she devises an elaborate plan to get her dad to drive 3,600 miles back to Washington state in four days...without him realizing it.

 

 

Right as Rain by Lindsey Stoddard

It’s been almost a year since Rain’s brother Guthrie died, and her parents still have no idea that it’s all Rain’s fault. In fact, no one does—Rain buried her secret deep, no matter how heavy it weighs on her heart.

 

 

 

 

The Seventh Most Important Thing by Shelley Pearsall

It was a bitterly cold day when Arthur T. Owens grabbed a brick and hurled it at the trash picker. Arthur had his reasons, and the brick hit the Junk Man in the arm, not the head. But none of that matters to the judge—he is ready to send Arthur to juvie for the foreseeable future. Amazingly, it’s the Junk Man himself who offers an alternative: 120 hours of community service...working for him.

 

 

 

Sorry You're Lost by Matt Blackstone

When Denny "Donuts" Murphy's mother dies, he becomes the world's biggest class clown. But deep down, Donuts just wants a normal life—one where his mom is still alive and where his dad doesn't sit in front of the TV all day. And so Donuts tries to get back into the groove by helping his best friend with their plan to get dates for the end-of-the-year school dance. When their scheme backfires, he learns that laughter is not the best medicine for all of his problems. Sometimes it's just as important to be true to yourself.

 

 

The Thing About Jellyfish by Ali Benjamin

After her best friend dies in a drowning accident, Suzy is convinced that the true cause of the tragedy must have been a rare jellyfish sting--things don't just happen for no reason. Retreating into a silent world of imagination, she crafts a plan to prove her theory--even if it means traveling the globe, alone. Suzy's achingly heartfelt journey explores life, death, the astonishing wonder of the universe...and the potential for love and hope right next door.

 

 

Teens 

Fiction

The Boy in the Black Suit by Jason Reynolds

After losing his mother to breast cancer, Brooklyn teen Matthew Miller helps support his family with an after-school job at the local funeral home. Over time, Matt slowly comes to terms with his grief through work and with help from another teen, Lovey Brown, who also experienced family loss. 

 

 

 

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

Starr Carter’s world is turned upside down when her childhood best friend, Khalil, is killed in front of her by a police officer during a traffic stop. The teen struggles emotionally with Khalil’s death while her neighborhood descends into turmoil when people protest. The bigger question is: will Starr stand up and testify on her friend’s behalf—and will it make a difference?

 

 

 

I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter / Yo No Soy Tu Perfecta Hija Mexicana by Erika L. Sanchez

Julia Reyes is a smart, brash, and rebellious teen who lives in a gritty Chicago neighborhood with her parents and her stay-at-home sister, Olga, who never gives her parents any trouble. But after Olga is killed in an accident, Julia discovers that her sister may not have been as saintly as everyone believed. As Julia tries to uncover her sister's secrets, she also discovers the secrets that have made her parents so fearful of Julia building a different life for herself.

 

 

Speak of Me As I Am by Sonia Belasco

Damon is struggling with the death of his best friend, Carlos, from suicide. Melanie is struggling with the death of her mother from cancer. After accidentally meeting each other in the woods and at their high school, these Washington D.C. teens work their way through grief and healing with art and Shakespeare as they become closer to each other. The author’s note provides resources for suicide prevention and cancer support.   

 

 

 

Nonfiction

Dancing at the Pity Party: A Dead Mom Graphic Memoir by Tyler Feder

Tyler notices that “our culture has a bizarre relationship with death” in that most people do not like to talk about it. In this graphic memoir, Tyler shares many fond memories of her exuberant mother, Rhonda, and the pain she felt at losing her mother to uterine cancer during Tyler’s second year of college. This graphic novel is a celebration of life and comforting guide to those who are grieving a loved one.

 

 

 

Grief Recovery for Teens: Letting Go of Painful Emotions with Body-Based Practices by Coral Popowitz 

Social worker Popowitz shares experiences from teens who lost loved ones in accidents, to suicide and illness while she also explains in scientific terms what is going on in the body during various stages of grief, mourning and healing from trauma.This book contains more than 80 healing practices and suggestions for teens who are experiencing loss. The back information includes health checklists and additional reading and resources.   

 

 

In Waves by A.J. Dungo

In this graphic memoir/biography of love, heartbreak, mourning and surfing, young artist A.J. recalls all of the special moments he spent with his girlfriend, Kristen, and her difficult battle with cancer.

 

 

 

My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks: Real-Life Advice from Real Teens by Maya Silver and Marc Silver

Teens, parents and health experts offer advice on how to handle the physical and emotional toll of a cancer diagnosis, treatment and related stress. The book includes suggestions for seeking support, dealing with a terminal illness and the healing process after losing a loved one. While the book focuses on cancer, much of the advice can be useful for families dealing with other diseases.

 

 

Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers: How to Cope With Losing Someone You Love by Earl A. Grollman

This e-book cover and some of the references may seem dated (from the 1990s), but the text offers a frank perspective on the bereavement process and practical suggestions for how to safely channel or mitigate the strong emotions, physical manifestations and stress that comes with grief.

 

 

Adults 

Nonfiction 

The Aftergrief: Finding Your Way Along the Long Arc of Loss by Hope Edelman

Grief is a very individualized process and the death of a loved one can remain so emotionally painful it can lead to long-term bereavement. Through extensive research, personal stories and interviews with researchers, health experts and ordinary people in mourning, Edelman writes a broader narrative about the largely misunderstood experience of “aftergrief” - the long-term effects of living with the “central paradox of bereavement: that a loss that can recede in time yet remain so exquisitely present.” Edelman also offers guidance on how to reframe these narratives of major loss, grief and sadness and use that experience to help others survive, and, in some cases, thrive.

 

Dead People Suck: A Guide for Survivors of the Newly Departed by Laurie Kilmartin

Comic writer and standup comedian Kilmartin wrote this irreverent-yet-practical guide book on how to prepare for a death in the family after losing her father to lung cancer in 2014. She provides advice on how to prepare for bad news; how to deal with hospice care, funeral arrangements and material possessions; and how to handle grief.

 

 

 

The Essential Guide to Life After Bereavement: Beyond Tomorrow by Judy Carole Kauffman and Mary Jordan    

Loss is a natural part of life and this book provides guidance on a variety of important aspects of bereavement, such as how to inform others about the bad news (including children, people with mental disabilities or dementia) how to handle feelings of guilt, emotional changes and family conflicts; and how to manage personal effects, memorials, anniversaries and prepare for life beyond mourning.

 

 

How We Live Now: Scenes from the Pandemic by Bill Hayes

This slim collection of essays covers the small joys and epic loss experienced by Hayes during the first two months of the COVID-19 pandemic. Hayes chronicles the before and after times in New York City with street photographs and personal stories while also reflecting on the absence of his late partner, notable neurologist and writer Oliver Sacks.

 

 

 

 

It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand / Está bien que no estés bien: Afrontar el duelo y la pérdida en una cultura que no los comprende by Megan Devine

Grief is a lonely, isolating painful experience that other people often avoid, gloss over or ignore. American culture tends to “see grief as a kind of malady.” In this book, therapist Devine helps break down the reality of loss, explains why grief is a “natural, normal process rather than something to be shunned,” and she provides various life tips on how to understand what’s going on and how to slowly heal at your own pace. Other sections focus on how to interact with friends and family who might not know what to do, advice on how to help a grieving friend, and suggestions on how to build your own support team.

Modern Loss: Candid Conversation About Grief, Beginners Welcome by Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner

You do not have to be alone in going through the loss of a loved one. The editors of Modern Loss formed an online community - https://modernloss.com - for people to share their stories and advice on grieving. This eponymous book is a collection of short first person essays and comics from 50 writers from a variety of backgrounds that cover the wide range of experiences related to modern mourning. The book includes advice on scattering ashes, finding a support group and what to do with a physical/digital inheritance and when there’s no will.

 

Other Support Resources

NYPL Community Health and Wellness Resources

/about/remote-resources/community-resources/health-wellness-resources

New York Project Hope: Coping with COVID

Emotional Support Helpline: 1-844-863-9314

https://nyprojecthope.org

OK2Talk Mental Health Helpline & Website

1-800-273-TALK      

English: https://ok2talk.org             

Spanish/ Español: https://ok2talk.org/es

American Red Cross COVID-19 Virtual Family Help Centers

Helpline 585-957-8187

English: www.redcross.org/NYSCOVIDFamilySupport

Spanish/Español: www.redcross.org/NYSCOVIDApoyoFamiliar

Taking Care of Your Emotional Health Article

English: https://emergency.cdc.gov/coping/selfcare.asp

Spanish/Español: https://emergency.cdc.gov/es/coping/selfcare.asp

People Seeking Treatment Resources Article

https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/tools-resources/individuals/index.htm

For more reading recommendations, check out these blog posts:

• Time to Grieve: Books for Children & Families Coping with Death and Dying by Michelle Lee
• Children's Books about Death, Loss, and Grieving by Gwen Glazer
• Recommendations on Grief and Loss: Patron and Staff Picks from Open Book Hour by Lauren Lampasone 

 

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Have trouble reading standard print? Many of these titles are available in formats for patrons with print disabilities.

Staff picks are chosen by NYPL staff members and are not intended to be comprehensive lists. We'd love to hear your ideas too, so leave a comment and tell us what you’d recommend. And check out our Staff Picks browse tool for more recommendations!

Summaries provided via NYPL’s catalog, which draws from multiple sources. Click through to each book’s title for more.