Pomp, Circumstance and Advice! by Muriel Richards, Great Kills LibraryMay 13, 2015

68835
Harvard Class Day Exercises, Seniors entering Sanders Theatre, Memorial Hall, Cambridge, Mass. image ID: 68835

My favorite season has returned, breathing new life into so many aspects of creation.  May and June are months that are replete with beginnings in the arena of nature as well as in human affairs.  Communions, confirmations, weddings and graduation ceremonies abound.  This May retains added significance for me, as my nephew, Charles, is graduating college.  His college sweetheart and now fiancée, Melissa, is also scheduled to graduate in the same ceremony as Charles.  As the lyricist Sheldon Harnick so eloquently and poignantly penned in the Fiddler on the Roof song, “Sunrise, Sunset,” “Is this the little girl I carried?  Is this the little boy at play?  I don’t remember growing older.  When did they?”  I am beyond proud of my nephew and future niece-in-law.  I am “bursting buttons,” “kvelling,” “swelling with pride,” (and yes, I am well aware that there are those who would quip that I am always "swollen" with cellulite!) etc.  Pursuing and attaining a college degree in a world laden with so many more distractions than were in existence when I was a jejune being represents no small achievement.  While the remainder of my blog is addressed directly to Charles and sometimes Melissa as well, the sentiment and advice contained therein should prove highly relevant and beneficial to many similarly situated as Charles and Melissa. One of the books that was the subject of one my book discussion groups was Gabrielle Zevin’s The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry.  In that book (a modern day Silas Marner in many respects), the title character writes notes to his adopted daughter, recommending certain books in order to stress the lessons contained therein, and this strikes me as an impressive strategy to convey wisdom to one’s loved ones, worthy of emulation in my instant blog.

To further quote Mr. Harnick’s Sunrise, Sunset, “What words of wisdom can I give them?  How can I help to ease their way?”  First, I hope you, Charles, always remember the quote appearing on a card I purchased for you last year at the The Library Shop, a quote attributed to Solomon, “You are always perfect to me." Second, the song “Love of My Life”, written and beautifully sung by the superbly talented  Carly Simon for her children, encapsulates and expresses my sentiments for you and your sister exactly, for always.

As a doting aunt, I can state with complete veracity that one of the utter frustrations in life facing parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, godparents, etc. is the rather limited ability to imbue one’s hard-earned wisdom of life to one’s younger loved ones (I used to drive your paternal grandfather to distraction with my naivete). Learning vicariously is not a talent that many are adept at utilizing, especially while still in the first flush of youth.   Additionally, I am (painfully) mindful of the fact that you and Melissa, as (impossibly!) young people, will be disinclined to accept advice and bits of wisdom from your antediluvian aunt.  I am mystified as to why, but the vast majority of the young fail to accredit the life acumen one of my chronological standing has accumulated after very nearly a half century on this planet.  While it is inarguable that different generations possess different values on many issues, some advice remains timeless.  One bit of advice that your paternal grandfather used to exhort me to pay proper heed to is contained in the Bible, “Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing.”  I would like to also cite the highly applicable Biblical injunction, “Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves.” I cannot stress sufficiently, Charles and Melissa, the need to be vigilant concerning the avarice, jealousy, deceit, deviousness, envy and conceit of others in this world.  However, please do not permit your conscious awareness of the immediately aforementioned vices in others to provide you with license to abandon your values.  While I admonish you to never allow yourselves to be victimized by the cruelty, greed, jealousy, etc. of others insofar as possible, always remember that the achievement of being a good person in a sometimes rotten world is no small feat. As Shakespeare (who your paternal grandfather was also fond of quoting) penned in The Merchant of Venice, “So shines a good deed in a naughty world.” Integrity is one of the few “things” in this world that no one can take from you without your consent.  And, compassion is one of the highest virtues.  The Desiderata poignantly expresses this and similar advice.

Next, please know that one of the greatest forms of armor against life’s misfortunes and adversity is, in addition to fortitude and faith, a sense of humor (as you have often heard me quip over the years and as I expressed in my December 2014 blog post, attending my high school for four years honed this ability in me to a fine art!).  Obviously, I am not referring to caustic wit aimed at decimating another, but the mirth and recognition of irony that accomplishes much in the manner of retaining one’s sanity.

The writer Norman Cousins credited laughing at humorous movies as a major factor in his recovery from a debilitating illness in his work, Anatomy of an Illness, As Perceived by the Patient. So, if laughter can assist in reversing the course of a degenerative ailment, just think what it may accomplish in the face of an unreasonable supervisor (albeit I recommend striving to refrain from expressing said humor aimed at a supervisor in the workplace, maintaining the mirth within your cranium and your writing tablet at home!)

On the topic of your upcoming nuptials, I am well aware that your father (grrr) and future-father-in-law, respectively, has admonished you both that you are purportedly “too young for marriage.”  Author Susan Spencer-Wendel wrote her book, Until I Say Good-Bye, My Year of Living with Joy, after receiving a diagnosis of the horrific illness, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis ("ALS," aka “Lou Gehrig’s Disease”).  (If you are ever afflicted with dry eyes, reading a few pages of this poignant albeit heart-wrenching book will quickly solve that problem for you!)  Realizing that she would not be present for her then-fourteen year old daughter’s future wedding, she wrote, “As long as that person makes her happy and treats her well, I support her.”   The immediately aforementioned words accurately depict my sentiments regarding your pending marriage.  And, although this may sound odd emanating from a woman who resides with other living beings of solely the feline variety, for marriage advice, I recommend reading Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116. 

There are so many tomes replete with a literal plethora of wisdom that it is not a facile task to narrow my choice down to a final one.  However, Dr. Seuss’ Oh, the Places You’ll Go! most definitely represents a top contender for sagacious advice.  The penultimate worded page expresses my final words of advice and encouragement to you both: “And will you succeed?  Yes!  You will, indeed!  (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)  KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!”

Well done, my Sunshine!

Books

E-books

CD

DVDs

Websites

Databases

 

View all posts by Muriel Richards